A Switch-up

You go through high school trying to figure out how to be liked and how to fit in with the popular kids. Once you get to college, you realize how much of a sham your admiration for the popular kids was. Popularity doesn’t matter at a university. There are way too many different people and way too many different social groups for any one person to be universally popular like they were in high school. That’s where college gets interesting. Whereas high school was about fitting in with the popular crowd, college is about distinguishing oneself from that crowd.

Of course, this isn’t true for everyone. Many college students continue on their high school mission once they arrive at University, joining fraternities and sororities that are all about fitting in with the cool kids. Some people never snap out of the high school mentality. Even if we do begin to individualize ourselves, we still do it with respect to our surrounding crowd. We don’t want to be an alien in a crowd of humans. Thus the key is to find that middle ground.

Establish your own brand of personality but be relatable to others.

Sitting in the Cosmos

I’m sitting in the Cosmos right now and life is like Pizza: It comes in slices. Some slices ain’t that enjoyable because we eat them too fast. Some slices burn us because we eat them too early. Some slices get cold because we don’t eat them when they’re meant to be eaten and instead do other things. At the end of the day though, we’re hungry and pizza get’s the job done. Who wants to eat with me?

Returning the Favor

My senior year of high school I still hadn’t kissed a girl. I wasn’t some nerdy loser but I had no idea how to talk to girls. Finally in second semester of senior year I got a hot girl to start crushing on me, but at the end of the day I still had no idea how to pull her. If it wasn’t for my friends, I probably wouldn’t have ever gotten with her. I might even still be a virgin today O.O

My group of guys was friends with her group of girls and one night we all went out to grab ice cream. It was obvious what me and her wanted to do but I had no idea how to accomplish my objective and certainly had no plans on doing anything with her that night. She rode in my car to the ice cream place with me and two of my good friends. After eating the ice cream though, my friends conveniently decided they would ride home with somebody else. They did me a huge favor because I certainly did not have the balls to ask this girl to ride home with me alone.

We drove to a park and she gave me my first kiss that night. It led to a great relationship, and I never would have gotten where I got without the help of my Bros.

So this brings me to the point of the story: If someone does you a huge solid, return the favor when the opportunity presents itself. Just the other day, I got my opportunity to return that favor. My friend Manny had become cold footed in his quest to ask out this girl he really liked. He kept talking himself out of it, and since he waited so long she ended up dating her best guy friend instead. They both were clearly disappointed with the outcome. I knew I had to do something.

I spoke to Manny the other night and coached him through what to say to her. By this time in my life, I’ve become pretty adept at getting girls, if I do say so myself. Manny, however, resembled how I used to be before I knew how to ask for what I wanted. So I broke it down for him. I explained that even though she’d been flirty with him he’d reciprocated her foreplay with nothing but mixed signals, which dissuaded her from making a concrete move. I told him he had to be honest with her and explain how he really felt.

The next day, after class, to his alarm, Manny found himself alone with this girl. Instead of shitting his pants, Manny took of his pants and put on some big boy pants. Then he admitted his love to her. She confided that she also really liked him. He decided he wouldn’t kiss her then and there because she was still “dating” her best guy friend and said she needed time to think. My boy Manny has morals!

She took all the time she needed and broke up with the poor sap the very next day. Coincidentally, Manny had invited me to his art club at school earlier in the week to meet his friends (including this girl) and guess what! This was the day of the art club. I had one mission and one mission only: Help my boy seal the deal with this girl so he could finally get some poon.

I had a great time talking to both of them at the art club. I told Manny my new crazy vision of the future (which I will be writing about soon enough no doubt) while this girl sat between us and tried to decide who she liked more. Just kidding; she clearly liked Manny more plus I’m not tryna do my boy like that. Anyways! We all went and got dinner afterwards, about 10 of us, and as this girl was about to leave with her other girl friends and Manny was about to drop me off at my car, I grabbed her by the shoulder and suggested she accompany us instead. I gave her shotgun while we drove back to my car and left them to go at it! And whaddaya know, Manny has a girlfriend now who he really likes and whom really likes him back! All these years ago my boys put me on with the girl I liked, and I finally returned the favor to a friend who needed me!

Life is great when it comes full circle. But even if the big picture doesn’t connect, find satisfaction in making your friends happier!

Making Peace with the Enemy

All names used in this article are made up and any similarities to real people’s names are entirely coincidental

Hey Bros. Today I ran into an old archnemisis of mine, Stan Sikorsky. Back in high school me and Stan hated each other. We never acknowledged it to each other’s faces, but it was obvious. I always got dirty looks from him and I can personally attest to all the shit talk I did behind his back. I called him a faggot, a cheater, a fake. I didn’t see any way me and Stan could ever be friends because he was a gay cheating piece of shit and I was not.

This morning, however, high on the buzz from winning my first ever 5K race, I noticed Stan and his mom about 20 feet to my left, grabbing food and drinks. I hadn’t seen Stan since high school. I knew what I had to do.

I walked over to Stan and tapped his right shoulder. I said hi and looked him in the eye. He didn’t recognize me and my full beard since I didn’t have any facial hair in high school. Stan looked different too. His hair was longer and wavier now and his ears were pierced. He looked happy. It was clear to me that college changed both of us.

I told Stan who I was and the first thing he said was, “Wow, you’ve changed.” Glad you noticed that Stan. I told Stan it was good to see him and, as confidently as I could, added “Sorry we were such enemies back in high school.” He told me not to worry about it and said things were never even that bad between us. I tend to disagree, but then again it’s not like we ever fought each other or even acknowledged our distaste face to face. So I guess he was right. Anyways, it felt good making peace with an old enemy of mine.

The truth is, I stopped viewing Stan as my enemy long ago after realizing that we weren’t so different after all. All those things I hated about him back in high school, I’d came to appreciate after experiencing them within myself. I’ve felt like a faggot, a cheater, and a fake. Back in high school I hadn’t yet, but now I have, and now I see things differently. On top of that, I had added Stan on Instagram awhile back and that had given me the opportunity to see his artistic side.

Learn to love your enemy. Ender Wiggin preached this, and it’s the truth. Once you find a piece of yourself within your enemy, differences can be overcame and wounds can be healed.

The Model’s Dilemma

My roommate made a fake Tinder profile because he’s super insecure about his looks. He stole pictures from a relatively unknown male model on Instagram and now has 1000s of likes on his Tinder profile using the model’s pictures as his own. This bizarre catfish experiment of my roommate’s is derivative from his desire to be more well-liked, as well as his insecurity that his average physical appearance is the reason the girl he has a crush on doesn’t like him back.

Now, as my roommate admires the appreciation his catfish Tinder profile has achieved and the 1000s of likes from attractive girls, he must also feel helpless as he realizes he never could have achieved this with his own real photos. He feels significantly at a disadvantage because of his less impressive looks. He thinks he was cheated at birth. He’s convinced ugly people are at a natural disadvantage.

Let’s take the opposite approach and analyze. Let’s say an actual male model makes a Tinder profile and gets 1000s of likes. He has received a superfluous amount of validation of his looks, validation he didn’t need because he’s always been known as “good looking”. The model’s dilemma is that he cannot discern who likes him for his good looks from who likes him for his personality. Thus, at this higher end of the looks spectrum, a new problem arises: a lack of genuine intentions from others. Somewhere, I’d like to imagine that there is a disgruntled male Instagram model using my roommate’s actual photos for his own catfish profile to see who likes him for who he is on the inside. It’s easy to criticize models who preach that looks aren’t important when looks are literally the basis of their careers. But step in their shoes for a second; understand that looks have hindered their ability to foster genuine relationships.

We live in a society where people are still judged by their physical appearance. It’s not necessarily bad; it’s just the way things are right now. Whichever end of the looks spectrum you fall on Bro, just remember that everyone struggles as a result of this natural human flaw. We must work to accept everyone and view looks as secondary to personality. Most of all, we must stop using Tinder if we’re insecure.

The Anxiety Epidemic

Our mind is a prison when we focus on fear

In recent years anxiety has come to the forefront of clinical psychology. It’s being taken more seriously as each day passes and an increasingly high number of Bros get diagnosed daily with an “anxiety disorder”. Not to state that some people don’t have serious issues that need to be recognized and dealt with but many out there are becoming literal hypochondriacs; people who aren’t actually ill but rather convince themselves they are.

I’ve known a handful of close friends that have some form of anxiety and they’ve become genuinely concerned. They receive confirmation bias from a handful of “doctors” and before they know it, they can’t try new things or go certain places because “it wouldn’t be good for them”. Not to mention they’re given a cute little bottle of pills that will help take all their troubles away, oh how convenient.

Frankly, I’m tired of it all.

I know this anxiety epidemic is nothing more than one of many classic overreactions to our constantly changing environment. We live in the day of technological dominance and we’re flooded with information constantly. We garner these schema’s about society and become weary of our role in it. Of course we’re going to become slightly anxious about the world around us, especially when we go to places someone like us hasn’t gone before. However, it’s getting to a point where people won’t try something new like go to a bar or club because they’ll get too anxious and want to leave.

What the hell happened to getting out of our comfort zones? Nervousness and excitement is being mistaken for anxiety and it’s causing a massive drought in our human development. This is extremely painful to witness and undergo because as a whole we’re becoming cautious and unadventurous. We’re not striving to break out of our shells but we’re living for basic safety. No one wants thrills and uncertainty anymore, what’s that good for? They’d rather take shelter in their homes and binge watch another show on Netflix or play Call of Duty until their fingers are blistered.

We need to open our eyes not to pharmaceutical prescriptions and doctors orders but to the ever expansive world around us. There’s limitless opportunities out there for us to branch out and constantly be doing something. In this world there can be no room for our worries or doubts but only for our curiosity.

Here is our new orders, screw what our doctor says:

Get out of our house and do something that makes us uncomfortable. Stand tall in our discomfort, let it trickle down the back of our throat. Like a muscle gets used to the pain of lifting weights, we’ll get used to the pain of discomfort, and we’ll become better, more experienced. Soon enough, just like in the gym, we won’t feel pain but we’ll be exploring new things with ease. It will become second nature and we’ll finally have the lives we envision ourselves having.

I know, we’re smiling now, because we love that image. Well, don’t let it be an image.

Make it a reality.

The Underappreciated Freestyle Workout

When I was younger I played basketball for a Jewish travel team. We weren’t the most physically gifted (being a team of white Jews) so what we lacked in natural ability we made up for in hard work. We spent a lot of time practicing for basketball tournaments. A lot of time. The practices weren’t fun, but being able to stay competitive with good teams because we had practiced made the tournaments so much better. So we worked hard to play hard. And that brings me to my point.

When do we get to play in the gym?

Gym workouts are like a basketball practice. You do routine drills over and over and you start to see results. The difference is that basketball practice results translate to better basketball games, but gym workout results just translate to…heavier gym workouts. Obviously working out changes your physical appearance, but physical appearance improvements can come from so many different forms of physical activity. We love to show off our gym gains, but when do we actually get to use them?

This is why I decided to incorporate occasional freestyle workouts into my gym schedule. One day a week. These workouts are nothing like my normal ones. They don’t follow a routine. I create a random physical challenge and attempt to do it. This can range anywhere from trying handstand push-ups to climbing a tree using just my arms. Since I still love basketball, sometimes my freestyle workouts will involve dribbling a weighted ball. Nothing is off limits during a freestyle workout.

The point of these workouts is to make the gym fun. Freestyle workouts shouldn’t replace your gym routine; rather, they should serve as a supplement to it. Next time you get the chance, try a freestyle workout, and see if it feels good. Because sometimes when we practice and practice and practice and practice, we forget how it feels to let loose.

Don’t Adhere to THEIR Schedule

This little excerpt here was a rant I went on during a Q/A at a lecture I attended about the American Dream. An individual at the lecture depressingly attempted to propose that the college system is taking away all creative value from it’s disciplines. That students are meant to do busy work and there’s no furthering of the person. I agreed with her but disagreed with her pessimistic tone. I believe that we hold the key to furthering ourselves, and it starts with removing ourselves from the masses.

So often nowadays we go through life following suit with everyone around us. Like sheep we walk blindly behind one another into an Apple store to purchase the next iPhone or iWatch, despite the lack of noticeable differences with the one currently in our pocket. Why do we do this? This is a question of conformity.

We’ve been taught since we were young that we have to go to school, graduate with a good degree, and some of us have been taught to then go to graduate school and eventually get a job, a wife, a decent house, some kids, maybe a dog or a cat, a nice car, and then call it quits. Coast lazily along through a life full of merely contentness, lacking of any variety. This is the American lifestyle we’ve chewed up, swallowed, regurgitated, and spit up into numerous generations. Yet, no one seems to notice or even more importantly,
no one seems to care.

What we need to do is realize the following:

We don’t have to follow this dull, overvalued schema. We can travel the world or go live on a farm. We can experience new things daily and constantly challenge ourselves. Who cares if all our Bros from high school have already graduated from school and have hot pregnant wives. While it’s awesome for them to reach those events in their lives, it shouldn’t put pressure on us even a little bit. We live in our own vessels, with our own thoughts, why should we adhere to what everyone else is doing? It’s a trick question, we don’t.

Take the time today and ask ourselves:

Have we been living on a schedule constructed by the masses of society? Are we existing among a line of individuals striving for the same systematic life? Or are we living each day out of our best interests, becoming more enriched as each day passes, without regard for how the people around may perceive us? If not, are we really living?

What Are You Voting For?

I despise politics. It’s full of greedy, attention-seeking, big-pocketed scumbags advertising themselves as a means to bring change. But my disdain goes deeper than the politicians; I hate voting for a system I consider to be broken. Every 4 years, our nation panics and casts their votes for their favorite candidate, and then their votes are discarded and replaced by an electoral college vote.

My parents, however, see things differently than I; and my mom has practically been begging me to vote for her precious Democrats because God forbid another Republican enters office and ruins the world, while my dad constantly complains to me about whatever bullshit Trump did yesterday or the day before that.

Ok that’s enough ranting; by this point you understand that I think politics are dumb. I think voting is dumb. I think my parents are dumb for voting.

When I really thought about it though, what does it mean to vote?

To vote is to asserverate (declare) a belief you hold to be true and important. When we vote, we are telling the world, “I believe in this and think it matters.” So the simple truth is, we are voting constantly. We are never not voting.

Every day, when we wake up and get dressed, we vote. Our clothes are a statement on what we believe a person (ourselves) should wear. When we show up to class, we vote for the importance of whatever subject is being taught, or we vote for the importance of the degree we’re pursuing. Either way, if we didn’t believe in class, we’d skip it. When we’re driving, and there’s a fork in the road, and we go left instead of right, we voted for going left.

Every action we take is a statement. Every sentence we speak is a statement. Every statement we make is a vote for that statement. When we make a decision, adopt a new lifestyle choice, etc., we are casting a vote and declaring that what we do is worthwhile.

So there it is. 7 billion people voting constantly, just trying to prove that what they do is worthwhile.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a part of the winning side of a vote. What’s important is that we vote for ourselves, not for others.

I say this, after I just promised my mom I’d vote in her precious midterm election. Well guess what bitches… This midterm vote of mine won’t be a vote for the Democratic party (literally it will be, but figuratively…) it will be a vote for my mom, because I love her!

Advice I should follow

Hi Bros. This is just some stuff I’ve been thinking lately, phrased vaguely!

Advice 1: When you spend your life nowhere and finally end up somewhere, you expect to be heard. But it takes patience for your voice to register. People aren’t used to hearing a new sound. You can’t force them to hear you. You won’t always be somewhere where they can listen. Keep trying to get there, and don’t give up when it seems like you’re talking to nobody. When you are meant to be heard, you will be.

Advice 2: Patience directly contradicts addiction. We take breaks between substances because we want to enhance their effects when we reindulge in them. We don’t want to jade the things that bring us joy by overconsuming. If only patience was addicting–Addiction wouldn’t be! Yet patience is the opposite. Patience is boring. It doesn’t bring us joy, but the fruits of our patience will. It takes time for flowers to blossom, for fruits to grow. Practice being patient, and remind yourself that it will be worth it.