Category: Uncategorized

Returning the Favor

My senior year of high school I still hadn’t kissed a girl. I wasn’t some nerdy loser but I had no idea how to talk to girls. Finally in second semester of senior year I got a hot girl to start crushing on me, but at the end of the day I still had no idea how to pull her. If it wasn’t for my friends, I probably wouldn’t have ever gotten with her. I might even still be a virgin today O.O

My group of guys was friends with her group of girls and one night we all went out to grab ice cream. It was obvious what me and her wanted to do but I had no idea how to accomplish my objective and certainly had no plans on doing anything with her that night. She rode in my car to the ice cream place with me and two of my good friends. After eating the ice cream though, my friends conveniently decided they would ride home with somebody else. They did me a huge favor because I certainly did not have the balls to ask this girl to ride home with me alone.

We drove to a park and she gave me my first kiss that night. It led to a great relationship, and I never would have gotten where I got without the help of my Bros.

So this brings me to the point of the story: If someone does you a huge solid, return the favor when the opportunity presents itself. Just the other day, I got my opportunity to return that favor. My friend Manny had become cold footed in his quest to ask out this girl he really liked. He kept talking himself out of it, and since he waited so long she ended up dating her best guy friend instead. They both were clearly disappointed with the outcome. I knew I had to do something.

I spoke to Manny the other night and coached him through what to say to her. By this time in my life, I’ve become pretty adept at getting girls, if I do say so myself. Manny, however, resembled how I used to be before I knew how to ask for what I wanted. So I broke it down for him. I explained that even though she’d been flirty with him he’d reciprocated her foreplay with nothing but mixed signals, which dissuaded her from making a concrete move. I told him he had to be honest with her and explain how he really felt.

The next day, after class, to his alarm, Manny found himself alone with this girl. Instead of shitting his pants, Manny took of his pants and put on some big boy pants. Then he admitted his love to her. She confided that she also really liked him. He decided he wouldn’t kiss her then and there because she was still “dating” her best guy friend and said she needed time to think. My boy Manny has morals!

She took all the time she needed and broke up with the poor sap the very next day. Coincidentally, Manny had invited me to his art club at school earlier in the week to meet his friends (including this girl) and guess what! This was the day of the art club. I had one mission and one mission only: Help my boy seal the deal with this girl so he could finally get some poon.

I had a great time talking to both of them at the art club. I told Manny my new crazy vision of the future (which I will be writing about soon enough no doubt) while this girl sat between us and tried to decide who she liked more. Just kidding; she clearly liked Manny more plus I’m not tryna do my boy like that. Anyways! We all went and got dinner afterwards, about 10 of us, and as this girl was about to leave with her other girl friends and Manny was about to drop me off at my car, I grabbed her by the shoulder and suggested she accompany us instead. I gave her shotgun while we drove back to my car and left them to go at it! And whaddaya know, Manny has a girlfriend now who he really likes and whom really likes him back! All these years ago my boys put me on with the girl I liked, and I finally returned the favor to a friend who needed me!

Life is great when it comes full circle. But even if the big picture doesn’t connect, find satisfaction in making your friends happier!

The Anxiety Epidemic

Our mind is a prison when we focus on fear

In recent years anxiety has come to the forefront of clinical psychology. It’s being taken more seriously as each day passes and an increasingly high number of Bros get diagnosed daily with an “anxiety disorder”. Not to state that some people don’t have serious issues that need to be recognized and dealt with but many out there are becoming literal hypochondriacs; people who aren’t actually ill but rather convince themselves they are.

I’ve known a handful of close friends that have some form of anxiety and they’ve become genuinely concerned. They receive confirmation bias from a handful of “doctors” and before they know it, they can’t try new things or go certain places because “it wouldn’t be good for them”. Not to mention they’re given a cute little bottle of pills that will help take all their troubles away, oh how convenient.

Frankly, I’m tired of it all.

I know this anxiety epidemic is nothing more than one of many classic overreactions to our constantly changing environment. We live in the day of technological dominance and we’re flooded with information constantly. We garner these schema’s about society and become weary of our role in it. Of course we’re going to become slightly anxious about the world around us, especially when we go to places someone like us hasn’t gone before. However, it’s getting to a point where people won’t try something new like go to a bar or club because they’ll get too anxious and want to leave.

What the hell happened to getting out of our comfort zones? Nervousness and excitement is being mistaken for anxiety and it’s causing a massive drought in our human development. This is extremely painful to witness and undergo because as a whole we’re becoming cautious and unadventurous. We’re not striving to break out of our shells but we’re living for basic safety. No one wants thrills and uncertainty anymore, what’s that good for? They’d rather take shelter in their homes and binge watch another show on Netflix or play Call of Duty until their fingers are blistered.

We need to open our eyes not to pharmaceutical prescriptions and doctors orders but to the ever expansive world around us. There’s limitless opportunities out there for us to branch out and constantly be doing something. In this world there can be no room for our worries or doubts but only for our curiosity.

Here is our new orders, screw what our doctor says:

Get out of our house and do something that makes us uncomfortable. Stand tall in our discomfort, let it trickle down the back of our throat. Like a muscle gets used to the pain of lifting weights, we’ll get used to the pain of discomfort, and we’ll become better, more experienced. Soon enough, just like in the gym, we won’t feel pain but we’ll be exploring new things with ease. It will become second nature and we’ll finally have the lives we envision ourselves having.

I know, we’re smiling now, because we love that image. Well, don’t let it be an image.

Make it a reality.

Damn Oldheads

There’s a reason why records are always broken. There’s a reason why stuff comes in trends. Nothing lasts forever. And it’s because of the damn oldheads.

Let’s say you create a product. Adobe Photoshop, for example. And at the time you release this product, it’s by far and away the greatest shit out there for whatever your product meant to be used for. It gets recognized as the best and everyone starts using it. People associate the name of your product with it’s action, like “photoshopping” an image. Then one day some motherfucking Bro comes along and realizes he can do whatever you and your product did, but better. And to do that, he copies your product and changes just enough to make it look like his own thing and lowers the price so people will buy it. This motherfucker has the audacity to name his product “Sketch”. And before you know it, everyone is using Sketch instead of Photoshop. The only people still on Photoshop are the damn oldheads because Photoshop makes sense to them and they don’t want to relearn anything. Meanwhile, the tables have turned and everyone at Adobe is freaking out and trying to copy Sketch, but every time they push a new feature aimed at Sketch users, the damn oldheads complain and refuse to upgrade. These are the same motherfuckers still running Windows 7 because they can’t keep up with the times. Fucking oldheads.

Words of advice: if you have a product, and you know you need to update it to keep up with the trends, or if you’re so ballsy you actually are trying to set the times, fucking do it. Fuck the fucking oldheads. They don’t have to use your new shit. Don’t keep using a CD player when an iPod comes out. Don’t be that guy. Get with the times and get ahead.

Clarification Bro(lina)

Just wanted to clarify some stuff Bros. So obviously it’s 2018 and like there’s lots of different people out there. Lots of different Bros. You don’t have to be a Bro to enjoy this site. Brolinas are welcome! So are non-Bros and LGBrosTQ Bros. If you can say, “Bro, I really like this site Bro,” then this site is totally for you Bro. It doesn’t matter if you’re whiteBro, blackBro, oreoBro, you’re my Bro, Bro. I love you, Bro.