A Switch-up

You go through high school trying to figure out how to be liked and how to fit in with the popular kids. Once you get to college, you realize how much of a sham your admiration for the popular kids was. Popularity doesn’t matter at a university. There are way too many different people and way too many different social groups for any one person to be universally popular like they were in high school. That’s where college gets interesting. Whereas high school was about fitting in with the popular crowd, college is about distinguishing oneself from that crowd.

Of course, this isn’t true for everyone. Many college students continue on their high school mission once they arrive at University, joining fraternities and sororities that are all about fitting in with the cool kids. Some people never snap out of the high school mentality. Even if we do begin to individualize ourselves, we still do it with respect to our surrounding crowd. We don’t want to be an alien in a crowd of humans. Thus the key is to find that middle ground.

Establish your own brand of personality but be relatable to others.

The Model’s Dilemma

My roommate made a fake Tinder profile because he’s super insecure about his looks. He stole pictures from a relatively unknown male model on Instagram and now has 1000s of likes on his Tinder profile using the model’s pictures as his own. This bizarre catfish experiment of my roommate’s is derivative from his desire to be more well-liked, as well as his insecurity that his average physical appearance is the reason the girl he has a crush on doesn’t like him back.

Now, as my roommate admires the appreciation his catfish Tinder profile has achieved and the 1000s of likes from attractive girls, he must also feel helpless as he realizes he never could have achieved this with his own real photos. He feels significantly at a disadvantage because of his less impressive looks. He thinks he was cheated at birth. He’s convinced ugly people are at a natural disadvantage.

Let’s take the opposite approach and analyze. Let’s say an actual male model makes a Tinder profile and gets 1000s of likes. He has received a superfluous amount of validation of his looks, validation he didn’t need because he’s always been known as “good looking”. The model’s dilemma is that he cannot discern who likes him for his good looks from who likes him for his personality. Thus, at this higher end of the looks spectrum, a new problem arises: a lack of genuine intentions from others. Somewhere, I’d like to imagine that there is a disgruntled male Instagram model using my roommate’s actual photos for his own catfish profile to see who likes him for who he is on the inside. It’s easy to criticize models who preach that looks aren’t important when looks are literally the basis of their careers. But step in their shoes for a second; understand that looks have hindered their ability to foster genuine relationships.

We live in a society where people are still judged by their physical appearance. It’s not necessarily bad; it’s just the way things are right now. Whichever end of the looks spectrum you fall on Bro, just remember that everyone struggles as a result of this natural human flaw. We must work to accept everyone and view looks as secondary to personality. Most of all, we must stop using Tinder if we’re insecure.

Don’t Adhere to THEIR Schedule

This little excerpt here was a rant I went on during a Q/A at a lecture I attended about the American Dream. An individual at the lecture depressingly attempted to propose that the college system is taking away all creative value from it’s disciplines. That students are meant to do busy work and there’s no furthering of the person. I agreed with her but disagreed with her pessimistic tone. I believe that we hold the key to furthering ourselves, and it starts with removing ourselves from the masses.

So often nowadays we go through life following suit with everyone around us. Like sheep we walk blindly behind one another into an Apple store to purchase the next iPhone or iWatch, despite the lack of noticeable differences with the one currently in our pocket. Why do we do this? This is a question of conformity.

We’ve been taught since we were young that we have to go to school, graduate with a good degree, and some of us have been taught to then go to graduate school and eventually get a job, a wife, a decent house, some kids, maybe a dog or a cat, a nice car, and then call it quits. Coast lazily along through a life full of merely contentness, lacking of any variety. This is the American lifestyle we’ve chewed up, swallowed, regurgitated, and spit up into numerous generations. Yet, no one seems to notice or even more importantly,
no one seems to care.

What we need to do is realize the following:

We don’t have to follow this dull, overvalued schema. We can travel the world or go live on a farm. We can experience new things daily and constantly challenge ourselves. Who cares if all our Bros from high school have already graduated from school and have hot pregnant wives. While it’s awesome for them to reach those events in their lives, it shouldn’t put pressure on us even a little bit. We live in our own vessels, with our own thoughts, why should we adhere to what everyone else is doing? It’s a trick question, we don’t.

Take the time today and ask ourselves:

Have we been living on a schedule constructed by the masses of society? Are we existing among a line of individuals striving for the same systematic life? Or are we living each day out of our best interests, becoming more enriched as each day passes, without regard for how the people around may perceive us? If not, are we really living?